Be the change

"Be the change you want to see in the world."- Ghandi

It bothers me that this quote is taking on an angrier, reactionary, and accusatory role in my life than it used to. Say it to me a few months ago and I would have talked to you about why I joined the Peace Corps. I took whole courses on "connecting your voice with your touch," aka "putting your money where your mouth is," or simply "not just saying, doing." When I left the quote had such a positive ring to it, a call to charge, true inspiration. And now? Now after being in this country for a few months it has a different tone -- it is the words that I don't want to say calmly to those around me but sometimes scream. I'm not accusing anyone of anything, history can leave hard scars that take a long time to heal, but even though I know this fact my personal emotions and feelings are much different. I will live in this country, in this community for two years, those around me likely their lifetime. So why is it that sometimes I find myself putting in 80% of the effort or even more? I struggle sometimes here as a person who is focused on process and teamwork, in a place where I am really forced to focus on end result (it's not about how the park is made, just if the community gets a park or not). I am having a hard time putting my heart into my work when it is not the work I really believe in. And I think that has to be my answer, process. How can I change my work to understand that no matter what I do or do not accomplish here the process becomes well worth it? I will just have to get back to you on that, but I promise that I will!

Crazy Cat Lady

A long long time ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, or more accurately around 5 months ago when I first moved into my house I found the following items;

• A black trash bag which I was too afraid to touch but was pretty sure held the contents of an old Christmas tree
• A man's leather jacket, still hanging in the front hallway
• A baby crib
• A baby stroller
• 2 small round fuzzy long sheep hair mats
• Various combs
• Cats living on my roof, for a long time I thought that they were rats but then when the noise stopped, and I began to see 2 little kittens around (now named Dimer [pronounced "dee-mer" and meaning winter], and Weasly, Weasly who as you may remember was the cat that spent a brief time living in my house), I realized they were cats
• A creepy backyard complete w/ shed filled with odds and ends, overgrown grass, and a little child's seat in the middle next to a tree (later I would use the shovel and it would end up leaned against that tree creating an even creepier image)
• Various little sculptures made out of shells and what look almost like bones
• Small black and white portrait photographs tucked into the corners of picture frames
• Moldy walls
• Termites in the furniture
• Dust everywhere
• A strange rusty cleaver like thing
• A small dresser filled with shoes
• A lamp of the bust of a woman made out of white plaster with strings hanging down for the hair

Well, I as well as some other people pointed out that I lived in a "cat lady's house," and recommended that to deal with the craziness/creepiness I find a way to incorporate them all into a party, or that I should just frizz out my hair and learn to embrace them. Today I feel as though I have taken that later piece of advice.

Currently I am sitting on my couch (my own personal island) in a sea of floors covered in salt (hey the analogy works quite well, oceans are salty). My hair is a little frizzy as I now have to go through a process of checking my clothes for fleas, showering, drying hair (where the frizz comes in) speedily, rechecking my clothing, getting dressed, re-entering house as little as possible, then leaving. And as far as the crazy cat lady thing goes, this whole process (that and the feeling of having bugs jumping/crawling all over you) is in fact making me go a little bit crazy. As for the cat part, Dimer and Weasly still hang around, as well as their mother "Narcissus", and her new kitten "Ginger," the father "Gandolf" also hangs around some times as well. 

Oh please let me get rid of these fleas soon...

Things you can make in a blender

I bought a blender when I first got here. It cost me an arm and a leg. People gave me a surprised look when I said I bought a blender and wondered "why on earth would she spend her small stipend on a thing like that?" Well here is why (a lovely list of what I have been up to in my blender, completely silly information I will share anyway)

1. Apple sauce
2. Bread Crumbs
3. Smoothies, which I have perfected
4. Gazpacho
5. Hummus
6. Creamed spinach soup
7. Nut, ginger, carrot soup

In other news, I have fleas. They are not fun. I have ranked it in my head of insects that annoy me and this is my list:

1. Lice, these ranked highest due to their constant annoyance and their long process of removal
2. Fleas, Below lice because while they are a constant nuisance, they are not as itchy as lice, removal is just as annoying
3. Mosquitoes, they buzz, they bite, they itch, but at least they're not just interested in you, and they are not super hard to kill
4. Flies, annoying and buzzy but they tend not to bite, plus with a fly swatter they provide me with some good old fashioned entertainment.